I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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