Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
