how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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