They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize