I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
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I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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