i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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