is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
im holly from the hills drunk
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
