You're so nebulous sometimes
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
