the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
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I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
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Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.