There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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