It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.