im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.