I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Randomize