I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize