omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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