idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
