OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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