I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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