"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
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