She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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