He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize