We won't sleep together?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
