i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
