In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
