'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
