Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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