i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
