I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i believe in u and ur pee
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize