I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
