Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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