$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
