Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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