Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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