no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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