apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
