I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
