i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
