I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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