found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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