I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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