she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize