I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
