I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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