I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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