Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
