Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
A+ Viking dick
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize