the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize