I seem to have left my pride at pride
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
pray to the hookup gods
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
