the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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