you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I love having hate sex.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
