i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
