Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
