Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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