hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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