just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
