but the lizard people decide everything anyway
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Edward fifth and chaser hands
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize