I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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