actually, I'm a sock model
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
