The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
false alarm, still single
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
