is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
