If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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