How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
