Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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