I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
